‘Don’t get hung up on gendered stereotypes, at least in private. Boys can look however they want—girls too, and everyone else as well. I’m a non-binary man who wears makeup and dresses. It’s all allowed.’ — Noor
What does it mean to be a trans person?
Traditionally, gender is assigned at birth based on physical characteristics. Many people are raised with the idea that anatomy strictly determines gender. As we grow up, a host of expectations are tied to the gender assigned at birth: what clothes to wear, how to look, and how to behave. But some people begin to feel that their gender identity (their inner sense of self) does not match the sex assigned at birth.
For example, a person assigned female at birth may identify as a man. Or a person assigned male at birth may feel like a woman. Such people often refer to themselves as transgender people or trans people. Some find that neither ‘man’ nor ‘woman’ fits them, and choose other terms: non-binary, genderqueer or genderfluid. Everyone’s experience matters, and we all have the right to live in the gender that feels most right.
'Your life experience and personal preferences are the most important things in how you define yourself.' — Lara
Key Definitions
- Sex assigned at birth: At birth, doctors determine a person’s sex — male or female — based on biological characteristics.
- Gender: What defines a person across the spectrum of femininity or masculinity. This includes both social expectations regarding behaviour and personal self-perception and self-identification.
- Sexual orientation: Who you are attracted to. It is not determined by the sex assigned at birth or by gender. Trans people can have any orientation.
- Cisgender: A gender identity in which the sex assigned at birth and gender align. For example, a person assigned female at birth identifies as a woman.
- Intersex variations: Physical characteristics (genitals, hormones or chromosomes) that do not fit the typical binary system.
Trans people are a natural part of society all over the world.
How do I know if I’m trans — and is that normal?
Being trans is absolutely normal! People whose understanding of gender goes beyond the norm have always existed across different cultures.
Coming to terms with your gender can be a long process. You may feel more comfortable if those around you perceive you in a gender that differs from the one assigned to you at birth. This might manifest in a change of clothing style, hairstyle, name, or a feeling of discomfort with your body. Everyone’s experience is unique.
Questions to reflect on:
- How do I feel when people address me using gendered pronouns or words like ‘girl’, ‘young lady’ or ‘lad’?
- Do I feel that my body does not match my inner sense of self?
- Did I enjoy imagining myself as a person of a different gender or playing ‘other people’s’ social roles when I was a child?
- Does the gender assigned to me at birth feel right for me?
Don’t worry if you don’t have the answers yet. Understanding yourself can take time. Only you know how to identify and express yourself correctly.
'My community of queer people of color is one of the most important things in my life. The people I’m closest to I’ve found though LGBTQ advocacy.' — Ose
What is it like to be a young trans person?
Transphobia still exists, but young people are paving the way for acceptance. Your gender is just one part of who you are. Some trans teenagers worry about how their peers or family might react. There is no single right way to come out.
Support along this journey is vital. Social media helps you find people who understand you. Many people blog, sharing their experiences. There are also support groups in some educational settings or online communities.
'If they’re supportive, talk to your friends. Your friends are there to help you, and can be the first ones to use the pronouns you deserve and truly support your identity journey.' — Alex
Should I come out?
Coming out is the process of accepting your gender and deciding how openly you want to talk about it. There’s no need to come out if you don’t feel safe or ready. Your safety is the priority.
If you do decide to, start with those you trust: your close circle, siblings, or by seeking trusted psychological support. Reactions vary: you may encounter both acceptance and a lack thereof. This is a personal journey, and there is no wrong way to go about it. Most young people feel calmer and more confident after accepting themselves.
What is transition?
Transition is a process of change that helps achieve harmony between how you feel about yourself, your appearance, and how society perceives you. This journey may involve social, legal or medical aspects, or it may not touch upon them at all. There is no universal or ‘correct’ way to be a trans person.
Types of transition:
- Social: Choosing a new name, using appropriate pronouns, changing one’s appearance, style of dress or hairstyle.
- Legal: Changing one’s name and gender marker on official documents (birth certificate, passport, ID cards). The options available depend on the laws of the country where you live.
- Medical: Hormone therapy, gender-affirming surgery (breasts, genitals) or other procedures (e.g. laser hair removal).
Medical procedures can be expensive, and not everyone needs them. Having or not having surgery does not make you ‘more’ or ‘less’ of a trans person. Only you decide what is necessary for your comfort.
Pronouns
Pronouns are the words people use to address us or talk about us. Women often use ‘she’, men use ‘he’, and non-binary people may prefer ‘they’ or other forms. It is important to ask what pronouns a person uses and to respect that choice.
What about my sexuality?
Gender identity (how you feel inside) and sexual orientation (who you are attracted to) are different aspects of your identity. Trans people can fall anywhere on the spectrum: they may be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual or queer. Sexuality can change and evolve over the course of a lifetime, and this is a natural process of development.
Looking after your sexual health
Looking after your health in the context of intimacy means:
- making informed decisions about what you do or do not want to do within a relationship;
- clearly communicating your desires and boundaries;
- using protection against STIs and unwanted pregnancy.
All forms of sex, including the use of sex toys, carry risks of STI and HIV transmission. Regular testing (once a year) is an important part of looking after yourself.
Pregnancy protection: If one person in a couple has a penis and testicles and the other has a vagina and uterus, vaginal contact can result in pregnancy. Condoms and contraception are effective forms of protection.
Risks and protection:
- Oral and anal sex: Risk of HIV and STIs. Protection: condoms, dental dams, PrEP.
- Vaginal sex: Risk of HIV, STIs and pregnancy. Protection: condoms, contraception, PrEP.
In a healthy partnership:
- They respect each other.
- They use the names and pronouns the person asks for.
- They trust each other and accept differences.
- They respect the right to personal space and privacy.
- They respect sexual boundaries and the right to say ‘no’.
- They discuss health issues honestly.
If there is control, coercion or violence in a relationship, it is an unhealthy relationship. You have the right to end it at any time.
'Don’t compromise on demanding respect. People often question my trans identity when my gender presentation doesn’t match up with what they assume it’s supposed to be and that can be taxing, but I never let them impact the way I navigate the world' — Ose
Your Rights and Support
Every person has the fundamental human right to be themselves. No one has the right to define your gender for you. Laws and regulations in different regions may not take the rights of trans people into account, so it is important to research the rules where you live.
Where to turn:
- Reach out to those in your inner circle whom you trust: close friends, siblings, or mental health support services.
- Local NGOs and online support communities for trans people.
- Allied doctors who work confidentially.
'Coming out is a long process. I have learned to do it on my own time. My identity is everevolving and I have my whole life to come out to the world. My identity is mine.' — Tyunique
DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE TRANS? YOU ARE LOVED AND VALUED FOR WHO YOU ARE.
