PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), the world’s oldest community support initiative, uses the letter ‘Q’ to denote both ‘Queer’ and ‘Questioning’ (Questioning). We define these terms as follows:
Queer: A contemporary and inclusive term that many people use to describe their identity and sense of belonging to the community. Today, ‘queer’ is valued for its ability to bring together the full diversity of LGBTQ+ experiences under one ‘umbrella’. It is a fitting term to describe fluid identities that do not fit into rigid categories. As self-determination is the highest value, this word is used when people identify themselves (for example, ‘My friends use the term genderqueer’).
Questioning: A term used to describe those who are in the process of discovering and exploring their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or a combination thereof.
Many global initiatives — particularly those that work regularly with young people — already use ‘Q’ in their communications as standard. Global practice and current research clearly show that many young people either identify as queer (whether in terms of their sexual or gender identity, or both) or are in the process of questioning.
Using the letter ‘Q’ is a clear signal that the modern community understands and respects every person’s right to self-determination. We offer a list of frequently asked questions to help experienced movement participants support local groups and understand contemporary terminology.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to use two ‘Q’s in my messages? No. A single ‘Q’ is sufficient to denote both queer identity and people who are exploring their identity (e.g. LGBTQ+, not LGBTQQ)
Who identifies as queer and why?
Within the community, the term ‘queer’ refers to anyone who does not identify within the rigid binary of ‘heterosexual/homosexual’ or ‘male/female’; it is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities. It offers freedom, leaves room for individuality, and recognises the uniqueness of each person’s experience.
Who identifies as ‘exploring’ and why?
This group (questioning) includes those who have not yet defined their sexual orientation or gender identity. They have a sense of their own otherness and are in the process of exploring. Using this term allows them to be part of the community, avoiding the pressure of labels and retaining the right to develop their identity.
Should I refer to everyone as queer?
As with any other term, it is important to respect self-identification. The word ‘queer’ is used in relation to those who have chosen this identity for themselves. If, due to personal experience, this word still feels unfamiliar to someone, we show tact and refer to the person in a way that they are comfortable with.
What is the best way to show respect when it comes to terminology?
The main principle is to follow the person themselves. If you are quoting someone’s self-identification (for example, ‘queer activist’) and encounter questions, it is appropriate to explain: you are showing respect for how people prefer to refer to themselves and supporting the expression of their identity.
